At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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