gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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