Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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