The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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