i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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