I heard we made out
wakey wakey hands off snakey
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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