Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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