Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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