I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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