"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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