my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize