Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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