We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
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There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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