Church boner. Awkwardddd
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
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I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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