I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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