He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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