too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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