Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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