she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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