dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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