My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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