i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
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Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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