For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
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I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
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I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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