Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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