So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize