i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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