you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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