why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize