I am spending my child support on dildos
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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