I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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