You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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