I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize