You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize