I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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