gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize