we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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