Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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