It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
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yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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