You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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