Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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