Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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