Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
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dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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