"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize