I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
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EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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