yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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