So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I know her cup size but not her name....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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