Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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