its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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