Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize