I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
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I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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